Dross into slightly more impressive dross

So, I was offered an assistantship last night at this libertarian dinner where I was passing out nametags last night. All hail the overwhelming power of open bars and little black dresses! I looked at the job listing online today and I'm totally underqualified in actual work experience but overqualified in every single other way (mostly just brains and tits). So now I get to spin my lackluster cv into something that will inspire this company to not just junk it as soon as I send it off. It's odd: the person who needs the assistant wants me, but I still have to apply through head office. Christ. How do you make "can tactfully shut up obnoxious DC bigwigs so other people can get things done" sound like an actual skill and not some sort of mind-control thing? I want this job but I'm afraid if I got it I'd just stay in DC next year.

And on a more personal note, I ran into JP, who wanted to take me out to dinner when I was still dating the ex-Boy. I was rather a cad to him but he still wants to, which rocks. He has the most badass job in the world, lobbying against manditory minimum wage, and is cheerfully amoral about it. And he likes it when I talk about books. And he's kinda cute in a very clean-cut way (his shirt sleeves were the proper 2/3s of an inch longer than his jacket sleeves and he always wears red socks. He had a pocket square and didn't look too faggy. Tall, dark haired. Swoon, girly, swoon.).